Im tired with those shits,Those think that not even important to my life but I still want to think of it , Is it my fault ? Why everyone is tryin to push me away ? But when I walk away they stop me but they annoyed me with their fucking attitude .When I walk away they called me loser a egois person a stupid person , But when i stay none of them appreciate it,None of them see it and none of them be there beside me.I keep asking myself,what they really want from me ? Am I do anything wrong ? I thought nobody is perfect .Haih Nobody knowns the real me,even myself.Its too complicated .Nobody knows how many time I lay down on my bed alone in the room and cried,how many times I've lost hope,how many times I've been let down.Nobody knows how many times I've had to hold back the tears,how many times I've felt like Im about to snap but don't just for the sake of others.Nobody knowns the thoughts that got through my head whenever Im sad,how horrible they truly are.Nobody knows me.Everyone is keep pushing me to be someone that I cant even be.Someone perfect in their eyes.Mama was right ,we can't please everyone heart .Mama was right , I have to ignore them and it is better for me to run and find my future .Mama was right mama was right .*tears drop* even my sisters put the blame on me . :') Allah,take my life if that is the best for everyone .I don't want to hurt anyone,anymore.Not now not again .hm Can you stop thinking about someone who doesnt help you in the future Beela ? I should stop thinking about this and should tryin to follow the flow and be a heartless . Oh I am a heartless since everyone is calling me ego and some fucking stupid attitude , haha :-) im so sorry ,i took the blame and pulled aside,I sacrified but in the end,they still points finger to me like Im the bad guy here when I know nothing ,I think about others but they dont see it what they see is just my scarcity hm Just in case you forgot,God created me with a heart,just like you .Thank you
