I feel nothing ,I cant describe what I feel right now .Can I ask you ? Can we fall in love ?I mean Can we love two person at once ? No ? Yes ? Hmph.This fucking bullshit feeling should really go away now.Im tired ,Im sick and I dont know what should I do.
Asking for a opinions from my bestfriends. Siti and Imyn . Different people different mind different point different everything.
Siti "Beela,Kau ni jahat kau tahu tak? Aku taknak salahkan kau beela.Aku faham keadaan kau.Aku faham situasi kau.Aku sebagai kawan,sebagai sahabat,sebagai saudara kau.Aku nasihatkan kau.Kau pilihlah yang terbaik beela.tapi kau kena fikir,siapa yang lama dengan kau.siapa yang dah kenal kau,siapa yang tahan dengan semua kerenah kau,orang lain beela.orang lain belum tentu dapat tahan dengan perangai kau yang macam setan ni beela,dia je beela.Kau fikir.Ikut kata hati kau beela.Aku sentiasa dekat belakang kau.Tapi ingat,boleh ke dia tahan dengan kau.mungkin kau rasa dia sama,tapi tk semestinya dia akan tahan dengan kau.Kau ni satu je beela,kau jauh .sebab tu kau macam ni" and so on
Imyn "Beela macam mana dia sayang you macam tu lah dia sayang you.Trust me beela.Apa yang you buat dekat sini,dekat sana mungkin dia buat.Dia sanggup buat apa sahaja untuk you beela.I boleh nampak tu.You ni jenis yang kena ada someone dekat dengan you.You buat biasa je okay.Nanti benda ni akan stop jugak.Nanti you dekat sana you akan lupa dia jugak.Just buat biasa je.Kesian dia beela.I tengok dia macam betul betul serious dengan you." and so on
Both of my bestfriends should really kill me now .haih , If a heart can divide by two it will be easier.Im too cruel .I love my boy so much and at times, I dont want to lose my bestfriend.(guy) who have feeling toward me.I told him that I really love my boyfriend and he should go because it might hurt him.But he refuse to do so.Wanna know what he said ?
I know you have a boyfriend.But I dont mind.Because Im still gonna live you forever.And I know forever doesnt exist.But I will try to make it.I know you will call me a sweet talker,but you wait.I will prove it that all my words are true.And i dont mind waiting for you.And this cant be end because I really like you.You're different.You not like others girl.From time to time you ask me why I chose you ... what is so special about you? Well, the reason is simple; I chose you because you are YOU!!! I have never had anyone treat me the way you do. I have never had anyone just look at me and make me feel beautiful. You do that to me! You make me feel special and wanted. As liberal as I can be, I would never do anything to hurt you. You mean more to me than you realize. I am hoping that one day I can prove all of this to you! I want is you...you are not worse but just to be different...you are special.because ever since you came into my life i can't think of any other girl, i don't need a reason to love you because i just do and the reason why i chose you is because there was no reason why i shouldn't choose you....yaa you treat me really different sara nabeela. and so on
After I arrived here,Kuala Lumpur.I try to find a time.A time for me to tell the truth.The truth about everything.To tell about everything to my boyfriend.And one night.We're going to SS2 Murni having our dinner there.And boyfriend asked me for my phone.He bbm me,bbm picture dia dengan I.And boyfriend tanya "siapa ni?" and I diam.Masa nak balik, *inhale* *exhale* "sayang,I have something to tell you.And i hope you dont mind" "Hm ckp ah!Kenapa muka berubah ?Salah? Takut?" "Hmph yup" "*started my story*" .sampai depan rumah,at 12 .Hantar barang jap,and masuk balik kereta.Tell him everything.From the beginning until the end.I swear I cried.And he stare at me.And asked me "why are you crying?" *tundukbawah* "Because I am wrong,Im sorry.If you couldnt accept it.Just..." and dia angkat muka i and stare at me "Sayang tak marah.*smiled*" "Huh?Kenapa?" "Because I've been waiting for you for 2month not for fight b.Dont cry" "Sayang...b mintk maaf" "Takpe b,B fikir lah.Siapa yang terbaik.Syg dah tak tahu nak cakap mcm mana,Because b ni degil" "Tapi b buat salah,kenapa syg tak marah?" "*smiled* Im still gonna love you b,forever.Stop crying" and the end of the story .
He just tooo patient .No ones can be like him , and no ones can stand with my bullshit attitude.It is him.He is not romantic , but every words come from his mouth just too meaningfull.Ingat senang nak dengar dia cakap sweet words? he not like others guys yang suka showing off to everyone how much he love me.Only me myself know about it.And bodoh lah aku kalau pilih orang lain . But this stupid feeling should just go . and I hate my self for not think maturely ! Thank God,Its over now . :')
"Nothing else is matter when you both are meant to be together" :-)
