Having a semester break for 1 month and two weeks is not enough.Aku kan ,mana pernah cukup .Yeah spending time with family and boyfriend for 1month is not enough ofcourse ! pejam celik pejam celik .Yeah its november,and thats mean another one month for me to go back to Sarawak,start my 2nd semester,start my stressful,lifeless,homesick life there urgh it is hm sucks? nah .What can I do ? It is part of life as a student.Friends? Hahah hari hari I skype dengan my friends at sarawak,my friends here is too busy with their own life,yelah ada yang exam ,ada yang kerja ,ada yang memang hilang dalam laut china selatan .Nah I just miss high school,takpayah fikir .every monday till friday ,mesti jumpa muka muka beruk yang yknow complete my life.
Junior :Geng geng akak tak ada,bosan gila sekolah.No one can take your gang place .
Me : Lol
boyfriend busy,baba tak ada,mama sibuk,kakak kakak kerja,adik adik sekolah.And me?Stare at my laptop.doing nothing.Lifeless.I dont expect this will b happen.But yeah im still happy,because aku tak payah nak pegang buku,menghafal fakta fakta yang aku tak pernah terfikir pun aku nak tahu,takpayah tekan tekan calculator yang aku pun taktahu formula apa yang aku guna.Nah 3days for not hanging out with my boyfriend,I just miss him so so much.
I hug him,and he said "Why?" "I miss you" "Haa tahu pun nak rindu,reti pun nak rindu.I miss you too okay.Baru 3 hari tau" "haaaha *trying to laugh but i fail*" he drove a car,going to ikea .having our dinner there.I told him that I having a heart problem,and its really pain.stare at him while he driving.He keep asking me whetr im okay or not.Yknow,girls.always with their "im okay" statement.haha :-) yet,he dont believed me.i hug him,and suddenly my tears drop.i just dont know why.I just miss him so much,wei baru 3 hari bro.dia perasan pulak aku nangis, ._. before that "haa rindu kan?mcm ni lah syg rasa masa b dkt Sarawak.Kita bbm,b asyik nak maraaah je.dgn b busy belajar,syg rindu b gila gila kot time tu.tpi b maraah je.ni baru 3 hari b.hehe" *tearsdrop* "why nangis ni b?" "mana ada nangis lah" "*tumbukmyhand* kata laki,laki mana nangis.ee mcm perempuan ah" "haha" . And Im just scared that one day,what we expect,is not there.is not like what we had plan.What if ? Our relationship end by death ?One of us ? Go.forever.and never coming back.How will it be ? How should one of us who still alive continue our life ?Without our relationship? haih I think too much sayang , Im just tired with this sick.What if I have a deadly disease ? nahh sorry sorry,Yeah yeah janji tak cakap dah.But sayang ... Hm its okay . Im not strong ,Im tired of pretending that I am strong .Im tired of faking my smile infront of everyone and said I can live my life alone,I can stand on my own feet .Why always me who trying to solve people problem but my problem ? Beela beela.fikir sangat masalah and perasaan orang sampai lupa perasaan dia .Ahhhh dont try to understand me,because you wont pass.I am complicated,even myself dont understand my feeling and what am I think.apatah lagi orang lain kan .
bye x
